


Scars

by OfficialStarsandGutters



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 10:54:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6563410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfficialStarsandGutters/pseuds/OfficialStarsandGutters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where everything is the same but Judy has scars. As she SHOULD have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars

It is so sudden and sharp, but mostly, it is so extremely painful. Judy has never experienced pain like this before in her short life. It hurts so much, her brain seems to turn itself off. Everything is cold. She does not even consider the fact that this may be her body going into shock. She does not consider how strange it is that she is not crying, that it is so painful her body is beyond tears.

The only thing she is aware of is the three white hot lines burning along the left side of her face.

She comes out of that interaction with Gideon clutching a handful of her friends' tickets, but she also gains three life long scars; the reminder of what cruelty predators are capable of.

*

Every inch of her body aches.

She comes in dripping water, her body shivering with the cold. The academy is not everything she dreamed it would be, and every day ends with failure and dejection. Perhaps her parents were right, Judy thinks, as she drags her soaked vest over her head. Perhaps rabbits can't actually be police officers, and no amount of stubborn determination will change that.

She wriggles out of her leggings and kicks her wet clothes aside. She sets the shower on full blast and hops back when it is cold water that she is met with. Sighing, she waits for the first tendrils of steam to rise before she steps back in, her ears drooping. She wonders if it is too late to quit.

Judy drags her towel along the mirror, clearing a strip through where the steam had fogged it. She takes an ear between her paws and begins to pat it dry. As she's watching her reflection, her eyes are drawn back to the three scars on her cheek. They've dimmed somewhat with age, are now white against her fur, rather than the dark pink they were for the first couple of years. She lets go of her ear and moves her paw to the scars instead, tracing along the lines.

 _I don't know when to quit_ , she thinks again, feeling a fresh wave of dedication.

*

Judy's stomach is fluttering with an erratic mixture of nerves and excitement. Her first day on the force. She made it! She's actually here, in Zootropolis, at 5:30am on a crisp city morning, ready for her first day as a cop. Finally.

She straightens her badge, perks up her ears, and heads for the door. There is a second where she glances at her father's Fox Repellent, before shaking her head. She doesn't need that. Not all foxes are like Gideon Grey, and besides, she can look after herself.

She closes the door and bounds off down the corridor, eager to get to work early. She's on her way down the stairs when she reaches up and touches the scars on her face. She remembers the look on Gideon's face when he'd slashed those marks into her skin. She remembers the laughter that followed.

Well, better safe than sorry.

She heads back to grab that Fox Repellent.

*

Judy looks up, her nose twitching as she watches the fox wandering down the street, glancing around himself so, so... _shadily_. Her eyes narrow and she checks for traffic before hopping across the street to see what he's up to.

She does not only feel like an idiot, but also a bigot, when she finds him trying to buy his son a jumbo pop. She touches the scars and thinks to herself yet again, _not all foxes_. If it takes twenty dollars to clear her conscience, well, that's not such a price to pay.

*

She feels like an even bigger idiot when she discovers she was right from the beginning.

 _Not all foxes_ , she thinks, tracing her scars. _But a lot of them_.

*

“So what's with the scars?” Nick asks, while they're making their way up to the Cliffside Asylum. “I've been wanting to ask for a while. We're there now, right?”

Judy doesn't want to say. She feels like they're almost a guilty secret, and Nick of all animals is not the one she wants to have to explain them to. He is probably right, though. Especially after telling her about his childhood. A hurt for a hurt, right? A secret in exchange for a secret. It's only fair.

“I've always wanted to help other animals. Ever since I was a kid,” she says. “One day I was standing up for some of my friends against our local bully.”

Nick looks across at her, but Judy cannot meet his gaze. She keeps her eyes on the road, paws flexing nervously around the steering wheel.

“A fox.”

She knows Nick's reaction without having to look. Can hear him shift with apologetic discomfort, the quiet intake of breath. She knows his eyes have widened and his mouth has tilted into a confused kind of concerned frown.

“Carrots-”

“He didn't think I could do anything. Little bunny, right? What can we do?” Judy laughs; a short, bitter sound. “It's my fault, really. He pushed me over. He kept saying horrible things. So I kicked him in the face, hard as I could manage. That made him really angry.”

Judy's top two teeth come down and worry her lip. The dark, rainy road in front of her has disappeared. She can see with startling clarity her memory of that day. Gideon's face looming over her. The curve of his claws as they descend upon her, the sharpness of them through her skin-

“You can guess what happened.”

“Judy-”

“They were pretty deep. My mother kept telling me they'd get better eventually, but they never did.”

“I'm-”

“It's fine, Nick. They're just part of me now. Like some animals have spots, or stripes, or speckles. I have these.”

He reaches across and places his paw on her arm, mimicking her act of comfort from earlier. She smiles, glancing at him briefly. He returns the smile, and she gives his paw a few little pats. Any emotion she feels rising, she immediately shuts it down.

“Now, let's see what these wolves are up to.”

*

She's blabbering. She knows she is. About biology and being pre-disposed, just repeating and expanding on what she heard the badger say, really.

“Officer Hopps,” comes a voice from the crowd. “Was it one of the affected mammals that gave you those scars?”

“What? No-”

“Yes, Officer Hopps, where did those scars come from?”

“Is this what we're at risk of?”

“No!” Judy looks around at the frantic mass of questions and conversation, voices rising and drowning her out. “I've always had these-”

“That's enough,” Bellwether says, taking her by the elbow and leading her away from the mic. “You did great.”

Mostly, Judy is just relieved it is over.

*

She watches Nick leave, feeling like she's been physically slapped. It is far more painful that the scars on her face have ever been.

*

Judy can't stop laughing.

Bogo and Bellwether are looking from her, to each other, and back again with mild concern. She clutches her stomach, curled over double in her chair, shaking her head. It's ridiculous, really. Is it not obvious to them why it's so ridiculous? Is she the only one that can see?

“Me? The face of the ZPD? With these scars?” She wipes away tears of amusement from the corner of her eyes. “Not really the kind of warm, comforting face people want to see.”

“That's not true, Judy,” says Bellwether, her voice soft and sweet.

Judy barely hears the words that follow. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. She may have solved the case, but she hasn't done her job. She hasn't protected all animals. She's made the world worse for so many of them.

“Thank you for the opportunity.”

The sound of her badge hitting the desk sounds so extremely loud to her. It echoes in her ears, drowning out the cries of her name as she turns her back on the Chief and the Mayor. As she turns her back on the force, on Zootropolis, on the version of herself she thought she was.

Her scars are the only badge she wears now; a badge of shame, a constant reminder of what she's done.

*

In the awkward silence that descends after her brief re-acquaintance with Gideon Grey, Judy can see his eyes move to her cheek. They trace over her scars, the marks left by his own claws, and she sees a whole display of emotion make it's way across his face. Guilt, regret, empathy.

“Gosh Judy, I'm awfully sorry about them there marks. I never thought you'd get stuck with such ugly scars,” he says.

“I don't think they're ugly,” she says, automatic. “They're just part of me.”

But faced with this new Gideon Grey, any meaning held by those marks suddenly seeps away. Not all foxes are like Gideon Grey, because like all animals, foxes are individuals. Gideon is sweet and soft and good at baking. Nick is quick witted and guarded and smart and funny and so much more than anyone ever dared to see in him.

Judy knows she has been foolish to cling to the image of a young cub, not yet developed. To allow her parents prejudice to touch some part of her.

But maybe, with her new knowledge of the Night Howler flowers, she can do some damage control.

*

"After all, look what they've done to you, Judy," Bellwether says. "If it weren't for predators like him, you wouldn't have such ugly scars on your face."

"They're not ugly," Judy says. "They're just part of me."

Bellwether just laughs and pulls the trigger. _Well_ , Judy thinks, _joke's on her_. 

*

“Hey partner,” Nick murmurs, curling his arms around Judy's waist and nuzzling the top of her head.

Judy laughs, leaning back into his warmth, taking comfort in that embrace.

“Hey you,” she says, smile softening.

“How's it feel, having single handedly saved the city?”

“I didn't do it single handedly.”

“Oh yes, that's right. I heard you had help from a handsome fox.”

“Was there a handsome fox?” Judy looks at him, and Nick grins back, expectant. She sighs and gives in. “Yes, yes there was.”

“Yesss there was.” Nick nuzzles closer, licking over the scars on her cheek, and Judy exhales softly.

 _Not all foxes_ , she thinks, happy and relaxed. _Just one is enough for me._

 


End file.
